Jesus Himself was in the stern, asleep on the cushion (Mark 4:38 NAS95)
I like stillness, especially on the inside of my soul. Stillness on the inside means presence to the love of God in circumstance and attentiveness to Him. When chaos swirls around me, stillness on the inside often disappears. Fear creeps in and I find myself forgetting God, zeroing in on me and the external chaos becomes internal. I fail to remember God is for me (Rom. 8:31). I forget the depth of love shown me through Jesus’ life.
My conversations with God around stillness started with silence. I noticed that silence didn’t mean stillness. I couldn’t confuse these two words as synonyms. I also noticed as I deepened the practice of silence, that stillness on the outside, didn’t mean stillness on the inside. I noticed I could be occupied by many things, rather than one thing: presence to God who accompanies me everywhere, even when I am sitting still.
God whet my appetite for stillness on the inside. I wanted to imitate Jesus asleep in the middle of a storm on a boat completely trusting Himself into His Father’s care. The boat in the storm bouncing on the wavey sea, pounded by rain, with wind blowing hard painted a great picture of my soul in many life circumstances where I could feel threatened. I realized I behave more like the disciples in that boat than Jesus. And Jesus loved the disciples then as well as me now.
God started hinting at spiritual disciplines that might help me grow in stillness, even in adverse circumstances. He let me know disciplines take time for their fruit to bear witness to interior transformation. I endured. After a few years practicing certain disciplines, stillness started remining in my soul even when things felt threatening. Patience grew. Irritability dissipated. Security in God’s present love started taking up residence.
Perfection in stillness didn’t arrive, but presence to God in the mess did improve. I noticed stillness remained even as I encountered the temptation to anxiety.
Circumstances don’t have to determine my soul state. Freedom to choose presence to God and conversation with Him started entering regularly and stillness lingered. Chaos collapsed into stillness on the noisy boat of life due to God nurturing trust in His love in my soul.
God continues to shape my life, so stillness transcends chaos as He draws my attention to His love and presence with me in the now.
For Reflection:
“Meditate in your heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah” (Psalm 4:4b NASB95)
- What is your normal state of soul regarding interior stillness?
- What spiritual practices nurture a state of stillness and presence to God for you?
